MONACO OR BUST
By Fred Price

March 18th 2009,

Tom my neighbour who’s a taxi was overly cautious as usual, got me to the airport in plenty of time. I was suppose to meet my other two travelling companions, Mary Ryan and Liz McArdle at 10 to 9. He’d worried that I wouldn’t get there so he picked me up at 7:30. My journey didn’t involve any traffic, crossing over the East-link and using the Dublin Port Tunnel meant I got to the airport at 8.

My companions had gotten The Patton Flyer at 8. So I read the Departure screen, our flight wasn’t delayed, it was scheduled to fly out at 10 to 11, our checking desk was 14 on the lower floor. So I texted Mary suggesting that we meet at the lifts. I got a text from her that they’d hit some traffic in Blackrock. Although I never admit it, I’m privately a bit of a worrier, so when my watch showed 9, I wondered would they get here on time.

Course I needed have worried because they arrived in plenty of time. Liz had already check-in online so Mary and myself had to check-in. I must say the Air Lingus staff were most helpful, the lady at the check-in desk suggested that Liz who uses a walker might avail of a wheelchair at Dublin and at Nice. So I went with the flow and Mary took charge of the boarding passes. I agreed with Mary the gate number wasn’t very clear and it did look like D28, so my merry band of traveller proceeded to go in that direction. But D28 didn’t exist, so Mary, myself and Liz had to retrace our steps back to B28. Luckily we had time!

I enjoyed the flight, it was the landing that concerned me. Some overstressed traffic controller had failed to inform our pilot that there was another plane on our approaching runway. Myself and Liz were totally unaware how near we’d been to disaster as the pilot took off and headed out to sea. I’m sure there people who’d hadn’t prayed in long were saying decades. When the pilot eventually, I along with my fellow passengers of EI0547 cheered as if we’d won the Lotto.

I must say the staff couldn’t be more helpful, not only did a staff member wheel Liz through the airport, but he also helped us unload our suitcases from the carousel. I was thirsty so I decided to get bottle water from the vending machine. When I turned around there was no sign of Liz or Mary. I assumed they’d gone into the Ladies, but they’d proceed towards the taxi.

Well after struggling to get our baggage and Liz’s walker into the taxi, I sat back and admired the scenery on the trip from Nice to Monaco. I was slightly disappointed that we weren’t met by what I expected from the French Rivera, a sunny weather. But what really rubbed salt in the wound was that I left what had been a sunny day in jolly old Dublin.


Driving through the one way narrow streets, the taxi dropped my party at the Hotel De France. Judith the organiser at the Monaco end had booked us in for four nights. She paid for my first night, so I can’t thank her enough. Being a low budget accommodation, there wasn’t a lift I had to carry my case up the spiral staircase to my third floor room. I suffer from vertigo and of course it hit me. God knows what the receptionist thought me when I screamed for help. She opened the door and announced to me that I had the best view, but that really didn’t make up for my panic attack.

The view from my room was a sea of rooftops. I could see no building more than my hotel and I didn’t see any nasty modern office blocks. Claude Monet and the impressionists came to my mind as I opened the slatted wooden shutters. I noticed the nearest chimney to my room has three pots, the first of which appears to be smashed. That says to me either it had just recently and the inhabitants of the building weren’t aware it happened, or maybe they couldn’t afford to repair it!

My room was basic, but cosy. I’d been told by a friend before I’d left that not many hotel rooms had showers, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that mine had one. For a hundred and Euro a night I thought it served its purpose. So I freshened up and joined Mary and Liz at the reception area.

Mary Ryan the leader of our little band of travellers enquired about getting directions to the Princess Grace Irish Library. So I along with the ladies got the bus. I will say the locals although they didn’t speak any English and none of group knew much French were very friendly and went out of their way to help us.

On the way to the library, I met Mary Collins and Agnes. This was the main reason why I’d come to Monaco, to support Mary’s art exhibition. The library was very small and the lift to it could only hold one wheelchair at a time, there were three wheelchairs users in Mary’s circle of friends. Mary had to remove the wheels from her wheelchair so she could fit into the lift.

I look around at her paintings a lot of them I recognise, but there are several I’ve never seen before. I make a mad dash to the refreshment table which has an assortment of different cheese’s, I had only a sandwich on the plane and my stomach is telling me its time to eat. I’m happy to see Miriam, Clare, Ollie Eva and Mia entering the small library. I’m also pleased to see that Pat and Tom, Mary’s parents are present. Agnes is filming it and she catches me clumsily knocking over the sign advertising the cheeses. I drift over to the drinks table where I get a Jameson. I circulate taking photos and mingling with the other guests.

Mark Mary’s brother makes an announcement that he’s presenting her with two new wheelchairs a powered and manual. I share the joy and amazement with everybody in the room. I hear from Olivier the company rep, who’s a wheelchair user himself that Mary will actually be able stand with these new chairs. I know they will make a huge difference to easing her chronic pain and increasing her independence.

I’m informed by the trustees of the library that there’s a noise curfew after 8:30, could you image what effect that would have in Ireland and that’s also the time of the last bus. Well the trustees arrange car runs to get me and my friends back to our respective accommodations.

Well my stomach told me the cheese wasn’t enough, so when I got back to the hotel, my companions decided to dine out in a restaurant not to far away. Monaco is near Italy, so I tucked into a lasagne. It no reflection on how comfortable the bed is, but I have a restless night. It doesn’t help that I had a bit of a cold. I always find it difficult sleeping in a strange bed.

March 19th 2009,

The following morning, I joined my companions for a continental breakfast. After a breakfast that just about filled me, we all decided that we’d take a trip to visit the rest of them in their apartments. Being unfamiliar with Monaco’s public we took the bus in the wrong direction and took the scenic route to my friends apartments,

My friends were staying in the Villa De Juilett, purpose built apartments for people in wheelchairs. The first I did was go out onto the terrace. The view of the bay did not disappoint me. I thought it was a very spacious apartment, Miriam, Clare and Ollie decided to go shopping for the essentials, ie. drink, so I thought I’d tag along.

I wasn’t paying attention to the bus driver, who was telling me that the ramps weren’t working and he’d only be going onto the next stop. So I finally copped on and walked back to my friends at the bus stop. The bus arrived with a working ramp, it could only take one wheelchair, so Clare and I got on.

The journey was short, Clare and I disembarked. Unfortunately Clare’s wheel on her chair nearly went over the side of the ramp. Then something that rarely happens, I saw the driver get out and repositioned Clare’s chair on the pavement. In the distance I couldn’t believe my but there was MacDonalds, but it wasn't the usual tacky big yellow M, it was a black canopy with the name in white letters.

I was taken aback when I entered the supermarket. I think it sold everything you could ever want. Several minutes later, Ollie joined Clare and me. He told me had to screws for the wardrobe door, I didn’t enquire how it broke, sometimes it’s better to leave some questions unasked. I heard Miriam phoning Clare, she said she was in a Sushi bar. I bought my drink and joined Clare at the check-outs. Miriam finally met up with Clare and they both left for their apartments, leaving me and Ollie to look for the wardrobe door screws.

Several minutes later, Eva joined me and Ollie in the Supermarket. Then I heard Ollie get a phonecall from Miriam and Clare they wanted more drink. I just looked at Ollie as he went off to get the screws and drink. Later on Eva myself and Ollie met up for a coffee, in my my case a beer. It was a chilly day and I hasd brought a jacket, I was feeling miserable so I decided to head back to the hotel.

I was hungry so I went into a pizzeria, unfortunately I forgot my wallet back in the hotel. The pizza arrived, I explained my situation. The waitress let me eat the pizza. I went back to the hotel and returned with my wallet. I was tired so I had an early night.

March 20th 2009,

I joined Mary Ryan for breakfast, the spiral staircase had proved very difficult for Liz, so she had decided to check out of the hotel and move into Mary Collin’s apartment. There was a square with an open air market so Mary Ryan and myself decided to check it out.

The credit on my phone was zero, I got Mary to phone the others to see what was happening. It just so happened that their plans were the same as Mary and mine. The Hotel De France offered a deal if you stayed more than three nights you could get free admittance to the museums, so Mary and I availed of this offer.

Mary and I got the bus to the terminus, where we met with the rest of the gang. Judith coordinate things and we all met up outside a lovely park.Then the gang and I headed to the Oceanic museum well worth the visit. I was impressed by the aquarium which was part of the museum. Luckily Ollie haf brought a phrasebook so we were able to translate the menu which was only in French.

The next place we visited was the cathedral, and being a member of the Society of Saint Vincent De Paul, I made it my business to light a candle at the statue of Saint Vincent De Paul, unfortunately there was only a picture of the saint. I took photos of Princess Grace and Prince Raineer’s tombs.

Then the gang took a bus to the casino, but I’d forgotten my passport which you need to enter the casino. So I left the gang to visit MacCarthy’s Irish Bar. I had gotten directions from the receptionist so I thought I’d find it on foot. That wasn’t the case, but I did come across Freddy’s Bar so naturally had to have a pint there.
Then the cent dropped I did what every tourist does and looked at the map. I could see that McCarthy’s Irish Bar was near the casino. I knew what bus to get.
McCarthy’s wasn’t what I usually discover in Irish bars abroad, there were no shamrocks, or Irish phrases which they almost never get right. I was pleased to find that the barman came from Donegal. I know this may sound stupid but it was very refreshing to meet a fellow Irishman. His name was Paul and he made me very welcome. I watched as he played backgammon with the other barman. It’s a game I know absolutely nothing about. But Paul explained the rules to me. I fell off the barstool, it wasn’t because I had too much too drink,(The screw under the seat came loose). An Irish French lady sitting next me suggested that I sue, but I wouldn’t dream of suing a fellow Irishman. So I ended up chatting to the lady. When I had two pints, Paul ordered me a taxi.

I got back to the hotel, and I was met by Mary Ryan and Agnes, who were trying to contact me but they had forgotten there was no credit on my phone. I assured them I was alright, closed the door of my room and finished the six pack which I’d bought the previous day in the supermarket.

March 21st 2009,

Judith had made arrangements for a trip, so she picked Mary and me up at the hotel and we headed to the others apartments. Olivier arrived, and I watched as he demonstrated how the wheelchairs worked to Mary’s personal assistants. I listened as Judith translated what he said, it transpired he’d used the manual wheelchair so he could stand at the altar at his wedding.

I along with the more mobile of the gang got into the first of two buses, while the people in wheelchairs got into the other one, I heard Agnes use her Polish charm, trying to chat up our driver. I couldn’t believe the phrases she was getting Judith to translate, I’m sure her mother wouldn’t approve.

I sat in silence and took in the magnificent scenery on the way to the Rothschild’s Villa and gardens. It was well worth the ten Euro admission. I joked that the Louis XVI decorated dinning room was mine. Words can’t begin to describe how breathtakingly beautiful the villa’s garden were. I can’t image a more perfect day, the sun even made an appearance. After a delicious lunch, I explored the gardens and I began to feel like a French Aristocrat before the revolution. Then I joined up the rest of them for the group photo.

I felt a pang of sadness as I board the bus for the return journey. But Judith asked the drivers to make a stop over the Italian border to San Reno, where I had tea in a café. Afterwards Miriam and myself got into the front seat of the bus. I was shocked as she then proceeded to flirt with the driver. It was getting dark and several times the driver took his hands off the wheel to read the phrase book, I was mentally pleading with Miriam to stop.

Much to my and everybody else relief, the bus driver managed to juggle Miriam’s advances, reading the phrasebook and brought us safely back to the apartments. Mia wasn’t ready to call it a day, and I’d brought my passport, because I didn’t realise that the border crossing had been dismantled between Monaco and Italy. So Mia agreed with me when I suggested the casino.

Being the last night I was determined to place a bet or two in the casino. I had clue about how to bet on the roulette. Mia was more clued in than I was, she’d won 80 Euros the previous night. I bought twenty Euro worth of chips. My random system didn’t seem to work and my chips went in a blink of an eye. I don’t what Mia was doing but she just kept on winning. So I bought another twenty Euro of chips. I soon lost all my chips, but I had to pull Mia away from the table. I was glad I’d convinced her to quit, because I would have hate to see her loose her winning of 130 Euro.

I got up did my last minute packing, had breakfast and decided to have one last look around the principality. I walked down to the harbour and watched a fun run. I bought a newspaper, because I want to see how Ireland had won the Grand Slam. Reading the sport section of a newspaper was a whole new experience to me. It would normally be the section I would discard when reading a newspaper.

March 22nd 2009,

Mary returned from mass at the cathedral, she told me she’d also seen the changing of the guard at the palace. Judith arrived and brought us to Mary’s apartment. Everybody settle their transport bills with Judith. It was the same arrangements as the previous day. I don’t think Ollie and Clare really wanted to leave because of the language problem they’d mistakenly thought the driver was going to load their luggage. So the bus had to make a return to pick it up.

At Nice and Dublin Airports, I witnessed something lovely, the care and dedication of Mary Collins’s PA working as a team to make sure everything went smoothly. Mary Ryan, Miriam and myself help them as well. Mary Collins had ordered to A.C.T.S. buses, and they also dropped me home.